Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Green Screens Are Exciting (if you know what I mean)
This weather future cast brought to you by Viagra
Monday, November 10, 2008
A Haiku for Ariana's Hair
auburn in beauty
curtains of her soul`s window
mysterious strands
- Thomas Callahan III
Friday, November 7, 2008
Chiaroscuro for the Soul
An Intellectuals Guide to Being Pretentious.
1) Use fancy words like chiaroscuro (make them up if you don’t know any).
2) Wear a fancy hat.
3) Speak in an English accent, but make sure it is Received Pronunciation (Queens English – more Prince Charles, less John Lennon).
4) Make sure people are around. It is not fun to be pretentious unless someone is nearby to appreciate it (don’t worry, they will thank you later).
5) Pick a fancy name, alliterations are best– Albrecht Austere, Esq. (It’s mine, don’t take it).
6) Have a cat – Himalayans are best. A quick rule of thumb is the fluffier the cat the more pretentious.
7) Wear a monocle and use a cane… Mr. Peanut is our guide, study him closely.
8) Have a signature color. Surround yourself with it, wear it, love it.
9) You can have any car you want, as long as you have a driver.
10) Write a blog. It lets people know, that you know, they care what you say.
-Albrecht Austere, Esq.
1) Use fancy words like chiaroscuro (make them up if you don’t know any).
2) Wear a fancy hat.
3) Speak in an English accent, but make sure it is Received Pronunciation (Queens English – more Prince Charles, less John Lennon).
4) Make sure people are around. It is not fun to be pretentious unless someone is nearby to appreciate it (don’t worry, they will thank you later).
5) Pick a fancy name, alliterations are best– Albrecht Austere, Esq. (It’s mine, don’t take it).
6) Have a cat – Himalayans are best. A quick rule of thumb is the fluffier the cat the more pretentious.
7) Wear a monocle and use a cane… Mr. Peanut is our guide, study him closely.
8) Have a signature color. Surround yourself with it, wear it, love it.
9) You can have any car you want, as long as you have a driver.
10) Write a blog. It lets people know, that you know, they care what you say.
-Albrecht Austere, Esq.
Disneyland Chaps My Hide (literally)
For those who are squimish....this next story is not for you.
Last Thursday I went to Disneyland and had a truly un-"magical" experience.
Here are the facts: It was a humid day, I was wearing fitted jeans, and I was walking for over seven hours. For those of you who don't see where this is going I will make it simple...I got a rash in a place that even my husband hasn't seen. Awkward....yes. True....absolutely. It gives me no pleasure to write this, but I share in the hopes that men and women everywhere will read this testimony of fabric friction fau paux and somehow learn from my mistake.
Disneyland literally chapped my hide folks, and there is no other way to say it.
On a positive note, I did pull a "mommy-MacGyver" and use my sons diaper rash ointment to sooth my tuckered tushy. Ahh.....relief!
Last Thursday I went to Disneyland and had a truly un-"magical" experience.
Here are the facts: It was a humid day, I was wearing fitted jeans, and I was walking for over seven hours. For those of you who don't see where this is going I will make it simple...I got a rash in a place that even my husband hasn't seen. Awkward....yes. True....absolutely. It gives me no pleasure to write this, but I share in the hopes that men and women everywhere will read this testimony of fabric friction fau paux and somehow learn from my mistake.
Disneyland literally chapped my hide folks, and there is no other way to say it.
On a positive note, I did pull a "mommy-MacGyver" and use my sons diaper rash ointment to sooth my tuckered tushy. Ahh.....relief!
Ban Ben and Jerry's!
Today I went to Ben Jerry’s. After leaving with my purchase, my ice cream fell off my cone, reminding me once again that life is a vulgar absurdity, and every attempt to escape the middle finger of the universe, is inane and futile. Please join me this Saturday in protesting Ben Jerry’s as well as the universe. FYI, there will live music, refreshments, and ice-cream (via Ben Jerry’s). We appreciate your participation, and Viva la revolucion!
-Super Baby Ninja 
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